Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
