ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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