3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
