Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My liver just had a heart attack.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
