Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So vagazzling was a success
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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