Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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