everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize