You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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