I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
