I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Houston, we have a squirter
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
