i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
