i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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