Kiss
Puke
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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