get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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