I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize