I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
