yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
