we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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