i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
