were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
