Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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