i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
