the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
