Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It's Friday. Sex?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
