I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
