Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
