Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
