Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
