walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
