Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
