In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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