so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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