you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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