11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
