my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
