You just made me feel so damn special
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
