there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
