But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
