I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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