new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We have so much sex to catch up on
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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