My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
