"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
