When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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