If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
