So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
