you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
