Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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