I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
