Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
