Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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