he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
