who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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