you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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