I'm gonna have a badass scar
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
i black out too much to be "responsible"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Two words: nipple clamps
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