I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
