Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
