And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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